Tag Archives: grandchildren

Obituary: Burton Dean Stearns

**Lovell Burton Dean Stearns, 86, Passes Away Peacefully at Home**

Lovell Burton Dean Stearns, 86, passed away peacefully at home on October 24, 2025, in Lovell. A devoted husband, father, and respected community member, “Dean” lived a life marked by dedication to family, faith, and service.

Born on June 10, 1939, in North Conway, New Hampshire, Dean was the son of Burton Stearns and Ina McKeen Stearns, who passed away in 1956. His father later married Helen Hastings, who became an important figure in Dean’s family life. Raised in Lovell, he graduated from Fryeburg Academy in the Class of 1958, where he later served as a trustee from 2000 to 2012. Dean went on to earn his degree from the University of Maine at Orono in 1962, laying the foundation for a long and accomplished professional career.

Dean spent over three decades working with New England Telephone Company and its successors, NYNEX and Verizon. Throughout his tenure, he held many varied roles that reflected his adaptability and leadership. His career culminated in serving as director and Maine State House lobbyist, a role through which he contributed meaningfully to the telecommunications industry and public policy in Maine.

Beyond his professional achievements, Dean was deeply committed to his faith. He served as a member, deacon, and board member of several Christian churches throughout his life. Most recently, he was an active part of the Lovell United Church of Christ.

Dean was a dedicated community member, serving on numerous local groups including the Lovell Planning Board, Historical Society, and the Brick Church preservation committee. He advocated passionately for the town where he grew up, retired, and continued his family’s long heritage.

After retiring from the telephone company, Dean enjoyed building a home on Kezar Lake in Lovell, returning to his roots. He loved working on the properties and land in Lovell; the outdoors was truly a labor of love. He treasured long summer days at Kezar Lake and Heald Pond with his grandchildren, taking them swimming, tennis and golf lessons, and enjoying boating, waterskiing, and tubing.

Dean and his wife, Pat, traveled extensively together, visiting destinations such as Italy, Egypt, Hungary, Switzerland, and England. For the past 27 years, they spent most of March and April on Siesta Key in Sarasota, Florida, visiting friends along the Eastern seaboard. Every year, their children and grandchildren enjoyed visiting, spending many days at the pool and beach, making memories to last a lifetime.

At the heart of Dean’s life was his unwavering devotion to family. He shared 64 years of marriage with Pat Stearns, his beloved wife and life partner. Together, they built a home filled with warmth and love.

Dean is lovingly remembered by his sister, Nancy Pitman; his daughters, Luana Stearns Towne and her husband Jon, and Lesley; his son, Jeffrey Stearns, and his wife Carol; grandchildren Alyssa Towne and husband Brad Hodge, Emily Towne, Brian Stearns and wife Allison, Stephanie Stearns and partner Lexi Carlsen, David Stearns, and Megan Stearns; and great-grandson Greyson Hodge.

Dean’s legacy is one of steadfast commitment—to those he loved, to the communities he served, and to the values he held dear. May his memory bring comfort to all who knew him.

A memorial gathering will be held on November 15, beginning at 11 a.m., with a reception to follow at Lovell United Church of Christ, 1174 Main Street, Lovell, ME 04051.

Arrangements are under the care of Wood Funeral Home and Cremation Services, 9 Warren Street, Fryeburg. To leave an online condolence, please visit their website.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to Lovell United Church of Christ, Mount Washington Valley Adult Day Center, or Andwell Hospice in memory of Dean Stearns.
https://www.pressherald.com/2025/11/01/obituaryburton-dean-stearns-2/

FLOURISHING AFTER 50: Mum promised my kids her house – and left us out

Dear Vanessa,

My husband and I are both 58, still working, and still paying off our mortgage. Our two adult children, in their early 20s, still live at home with us. Between the mortgage, bills, and supporting them, money is tight, and retirement feels like a long way off.

My mum, who is 80, recently told my kids before she even told me that she plans to leave her house directly to them when she passes, not to me. She says it’s so expensive for young people to buy property and she wants to give them a leg up.

I love that her intention is to help them, but it really hurt to be left out of the conversation. My husband keeps saying I should tell her that we need the money too, but I don’t want to make her feel guilty or worry about me. I just wish she had asked what I thought before making promises.

Now that the kids know about it, they’re almost waiting for that inheritance. It’s changed the way they talk about money, and I worry it’s made them less motivated to work harder for themselves, thinking that a big windfall is on the way.

Am I wrong to feel upset?
— Gwen

Dear Gwen,

You are not wrong at all. What you’re feeling is completely natural.

Wills are never just about money; they’re about being recognised, included, and respected. Your mum’s decision may have come from love and generosity, but telling your kids before talking to you has created a big emotional gap.

It’s wonderful that she wants to help your children in a tough housing market. But what she may not see is that you and your husband are still carrying heavy financial responsibilities, and her approach has created a problem for the next generation. By promising them her house now, she’s given them a sense of certainty that can easily take away the hunger to build their own future.

That’s why this situation needs both honesty and planning.

First, I’d encourage you to have a calm, open conversation with your mum—not about demanding her money, but about how her choice makes you and your husband feel, and the effect it’s already having on your kids. Let her know you love her intention but wish you had been consulted first.

Second, this is a moment where a financial planner could really help—not just for you, but for your mum too. They can show her options that might help the grandchildren without undermining their motivation or causing you and your husband to feel excluded. They can also suggest practical ways to structure an inheritance so it doesn’t create more problems than it solves.

If you’d like to explore this, you can use my free link to find an adviser.

This isn’t just about who gets what; it’s about family relationships and preparing the next generation to stand on their own feet. Your feelings are valid, and by raising this gently now, you give everyone a better chance of keeping both the love and the money intact.

All the best,
Vanessa
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-15163089/FLOURISHING-50-Mum-promised-kids-house-left-out.html?ns_mchannel=rss&ns_campaign=1490&ito=1490